Ryan "Bad Life Decisions" Farrow (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
averagemedium) wrote2015-06-14 04:24 pm
averagemedium) wrote2015-06-14 04:24 pm
[RYSLIG] INBOX.
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I'm a little nervous too, honestly. That I won't be any good at explaining things or showing you how or... any of that. I've never had to, and that's definitely not a problem, I
It's actually kind of an exciting idea, getting to be someone's first. And I want you for you, not because I want a replacement for someone else, you don't have to worry about that.
But it's not just you, I guess that's what I'm really getting at here.
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[Even through text, Ryan can probably see Mattias tucking back his hair. And blushing. Always blushing.]
>I wasn't really expecting that.
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Besides, like I said, it'd be with you. :)
[dangerous sap levels are just part of what you signed up for, mattias.]
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>I thought no one ever liked to lie with
>Well, you know...
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Some people don't, no, but I care more about the person than whether they're experienced. The only reason I've never slept with anyone new to it is that I've just... never known one things went that far with.
Besides-- trust me, there are a lot of guys with experience who are still terrible at sex. That doesn't mean anything on its own.
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>I'm joking, please don't take that seriously :(
>I do think I would like to do it soon.
>If that's alright.
>It feels as if I've put it off for too long. And I
>I feel safe with you.
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[He means to say more, but it's all he can manage to type in response, struggling to string words together to match his thoughts. Those last words are better than any declarations of Mattias' affection, warming Ryan almost as much as his presence would.]
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>You could say that's the foundation of our relationship. At least for me.
>Should I not?
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Didn't expect it, I guess?
I mean, it's not something I usually hear, so
It's nice, is what I mean.
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>Who wouldn't feel safe around you? :)
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But I feel safe with you, too. Wouldn't be with you if I didn't.
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>I'm glad.
>I'm happy I met you, Ryan.
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And so am I. I was before this, too, you've been one of my closest friends for a while now.
I can't believe it took us so long to sort things out, honestly.
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>At least, I think it was fear.
>I don't know. It was all very confusing.
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But it worked out, didn't it?
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>Are we
>Is this real, Ryan? Are we
>I don't know the right way to ask this.
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...I'm not really sure how to put it either, but I get what you mean. And yes. I think so, anyway.
I wouldn't only be with you if it weren't.
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>I'm glad to hear that.
>I never really thought I'd have a chance to have a partner.
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But I'm definitely pleased I was wrong. <3
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>I thought
>You seemed more experienced.
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I've had a couple who were-- people call it 'friends with benefits' back home. We were friends, we slept with each other, but we never dated for various reasons.
That kind of thing's not usually my preference, I just
It got lonely, you know?
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>I'm sorry, I still don't think I understand that.
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>Have... friends like that?
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Like I said, that sort of thing isn't my preference.
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>Thank you.
>Should we... set up a time for it?
>What we talked about earlier, I mean.
>Up there.
>About... you know.
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