averagemedium | [Off-Comm Threads]

...I will be when all this is over.

[He shuts off the tap, staying right where he is for now; he's comfortable, he doesn't feel like dislodging Henry to go hang the shirt up to dry yet, and he'll just be wringing it out for longer than is really necessary.]

And if it never ends?

[And Henry's not inclined to move anywhere for the time being, clinging just a bit tighter.]

That's a long time to not be okay.

...if it doesn't end, I'll just-- adjust. Managed just fine when the whole seeing-death-everywhere business never went away, yeah?

[He finishes wringing out the shirt and shifts in his grasp, turning to face him and drape his arms over his shoulders.]

I'll make it work.

[Henry doesn't want to point out the things that could go wrong there. He doesn't want to think about the things that could go wrong there, how that can change a person, one small, horrible experience at a time.

He turned out fine, after all.

And he's more than fine with it when Ryan shifts around, burrowing his face against his chest again, leaning against his body.]

Totally! What's a few accidental murders here and there? Or waking up in the park with glass in your hair and blood in your mouth you don't recognize, huh? We'll just come back and bandage each other up and laugh about it~

--wait, that's just an example, right? That hasn't actually happened, has it.

[Not that he would really be surprised if it had, but... it's a little more worrying than what he's already heard about breaking things, more worrying than what he's woken up to find himself doing.

If he's already killed someone in his sleep then maybe Ryan really should be worried about waking up.

He's shoving that thought aside as hard as he can, leaning down to rest his chin on top of Henry's head.]

Uh.

[The pause there is probably answer enough, and Henry idly scratches at Ryan's back with one finger while he tries to to think of something reassuring to say.]

...maaaybe it wasn't human? Or they got a way with just a good bite out of 'em?

...yeah, let's-- let's just hope that was it.

[Well, shit.

Not that it's anything he didn't half expect, honestly, but shit.]

At least it's probably not just you?

Yeah, it seems like most of the city is learning about the joys of a good killing.

[About time, really. And as thoughts went, that wasn't even an unusual one.]

Just don't you start, okay? Awake or not, I'll take care of it~

Promise you I'm going to try not to start, okay?

[And after giving him a light squeeze, he adds-]

...but if I did, that's exactly what I'd want you to do. Just. For the record, and everything.

...what do you mean?

[Henry pulls back, not quite frowning at him, but looking a lot more neutral than usual.]

I'd want you to take care of it. Make it stop, if I couldn't.

[He shrugs one shoulder, shifting uncomfortably as his fingers dig in to the fabric of his shirt.]

...so, uh. I guess this is-- my request for you to kill me if it ever happens.

[For a few seconds he stares at him, before a mild, and entirely normal smile crosses his expression.]

Sure.

[Lying. If Ryan went crazy, he'd protect him. If anyone else tried to stop him, he'd kill them. If Ryan tried to kill him- he'd let him, if he couldn't stop him safely.]

--You've gotta do the same though! I don't want to wake up remembering offing ya, right?

[Hypocritical, but he didn't particularly care.]

[There's a long pause before he finally nods, just slightly.]

...Okay, yeah.

[Also lying. He has enough problems killing the enemy, even if Henry were trying to kill him he's not sure he could manage it in self-defense. The fact that they come back doesn't really matter, not when the memory of doing it would never go away-- he would rather be killed than kill.]

I'd try, anyway. Think you're a lot better at it than I am.

Good think you've got control, huh? You can just make me do it myself~

[He doesn't even think of not believing him, and it's with a small laugh that he's pulling him close again, leaning up to press a kiss to his jawline.]

I-- guess I could?

[Yeah, no, no he really couldn't. He sounds uncomfortable, eyes flicking away from Henry's face. The kiss helps a bit, but he is so not okay with this thought.]

...theoretically. Think I'm more likely to try my luck with the sword.

Hm, that's right, you've been practicing haven't you?

[But he notices the discomfort, and it's distracting enough from the always-tempting idea of getting stabbed to death, and he strokes slowly at his back instead.]

Hopefully you'll never get around to needing to use it. Leave the slaughter for those of us who enjoy it!

Just try not to go nuts on me, and I'll do the same-- and then we'll be fine, 'kay?

[Maybe if he repeats it enough, that's going to make it true. That touch is relaxing, though, and he decides the shirt can just stay in the sink for all he cares.]

But for now, I just want to go lie down and forget about it for a while.

I'll try.

[If nothing else, the experience made him a little more conscious of possibly needing to control those intrusive ideas, instead of just going along with them like he had been doing.

So he pulls back with another smile, taking his good hand with both of his.]

So let's get you lying down, huh?

Sounds like a good idea to me.

[He gives him a small smile back, shifting to lead him back to the bedroom-- he quickens his pace a little while passing the living room, though. He'll need to find that needle later, see if anything else needs cleaned, but for now he doesn't want to go back in.]

...no idea if I'll be able to sleep tonight, but we can at least try to get comfortable, right?

Gotta get sleep when you can, these days. Day or night, as long as you're not walking off mid-way it's a success.

[He only reluctantly lets go once they're actually in the bedroom, pulling the blankets back from the bed.]

I'm trying, it just... keeps ending in walking off, yeah. About to just tie myself to the damn bed.

[He huffs out a sigh as he flops down onto it, not bothering to strip anything off first. All he wants is to curl up, that can wait.]

Saaaame. I mean, it's fun not knowing where I'll end up next, but I'd rather wake up right here.

[And he nudges at him for emphasis. Henry's feeling the same way about clothes; lying down, and curling back up next to Ryan- those were priorities.]

[He's just going to shift to wrap himself around Henry as well as he's able, making them into a close tangle of limbs.]

Bet we'd manage to undo them somehow, with our luck. Might be worth a shot, though?

[Sounds like he's mostly joking, but- okay. Maybe not entirely. And maybe not completely in the 'stop sleepwalking' context, either.]

[And he's pleased with that tangle, feeling more at ease than he'd been since he'd woken to see Ryan stitching himself up.]

Totally willing to try it. Hey, maybe you can tie yourself to me! It'll be harder for one of us to wander off without the other noticing, that way.

...Oh my god, Henry, we're going to fall off the bed and somebody's going to break their neck if we do that.

[He has his face pressed into the crook of Henry's neck as he starts just quietly laughing. There's more than just amusement to it, and once he's started he doesn't seem quite able to stop it again just yet; it's desperate, venting out lingering tension and emotion, his shoulders shaking as he tries to just breathe.]

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